A Life Coach Won’t Fix Your Life… But They Will Help You See It Clearly
“Sometimes the biggest life changes don’t happen because someone fixed you.
They happen because someone finally helped you see yourself clearly enough to grow differently.”
Let’s stop pretending everybody successfully figured life out alone. There was always a supportive team, a posse, las comadres, somebody cheering them on behind the scenes.
Now listen… they all had good intentions, but sometimes that support came out sideways. Some people were naturally great life coaches before that was even a thing. My abuela tried her best. Half the time, I took her advice with a grain of salt because honestly… she was savage. The kind of woman who would humble you and hand you a cafecito in the same conversation.
Pero, as a Latina and the first-born daughter, you’re raised to be the strong one. The one who carries the weight. The helper. The fixer. The dependable one. And if I’m being honest, that role can feel really lonely sometimes.
Then the military reinforced it even more. Asking for help was treated like weakness. Y yo no soy débil. But let’s be real… the military also contradicted itself all the time. They were constantly talking about your battle buddy. “I’ve got your six.” Well, hello… that IS help. That’s support. That’s mentorship.
Pero watch what happens when you flat-out say, “Hey, I need help.” Suddenly, everybody starts acting weird, like the building’s on fire.
One Told Me to Shrink. The Other Taught Me How to Grow
Imagine this: all 5’4” of me, 138 pounds give or take, 18 years old, fresh out of breakfast at basic training.
We get back to the barracks and immediately have to do push-ups. Yes… after breakfast. Because apparently, Army logic and digestive systems never met each other.
I remember my female drill sergeant standing there with a Twizzler hanging out of her mouth, telling me I needed to lose weight because Army standards said I wasn’t within height and weight regulations. At my height, I was supposed to weigh somewhere around 115–125 pounds.
Never mind that I was passing every physical fitness test.
Never mind that I was the platoon leader because I was a damn good leader.
Never mind that I was excelling in land navigation thanks to my JROTC instructor, MSG Hemminger — and there was no way I was about to embarrass that man by failing.
Never mind that I passed the tape test and was lean at 138 pounds.
All she saw was a number on a chart.
And when I didn’t lose the weight? The platoon leader position was taken away from me.
But here’s the thing… not every leader I had was like that.
Later, when I got to Fort Huachuca for Advanced Training — interrogation school — I went from sea-level Florida and South Carolina to Arizona elevation at almost 5,000 feet. Suddenly I couldn’t pass my two-mile run. The requirement was 18 minutes and 54 seconds, and I kept coming in around 19 minutes. Close enough to make me mad every single time.
Now THAT drill sergeant, Drill Sergeant Borland, handled things differently. He didn’t stand there yelling “run faster.” He literally ran beside me during my next PT test and taught me HOW to run.
Relax your arms.
Stop clenching your fists.
Take three deep breaths every few steps.
That small shift changed everything. I passed my run in 18 minutes.
That’s what a mentor does.
That’s what a life coach does.
Not someone who stands over you pointing out what’s wrong with you.
Someone who helps you understand what’s not working and shows you how to move differently.
Now don’t get me wrong… Drill Sergeant Borland was still terrifying. We absolutely changed directions anytime we saw him because if he spotted us, we were probably doing 10 push-ups immediately. 😂
But intimidation aside, he taught instead of shamed. And honestly? That lesson stayed with me a lot longer than the criticism ever did.
Therapist vs. Mentor vs. Life Coach
Before I go any further, this part is muy importante.
People get confused about the difference between a therapist, mentor, and life coach. And honestly? We’re all out here doing very important work — especially therapists.
In my very honest opinion, if you haven’t started working through your past, your trauma, your grief, your anxiety, or the things that keep emotionally hijacking your life… it’s going to be really hard for a mentor or life coach to help you move forward in a sustainable way.
You can’t build confidence on top of untreated wounds forever. At some point, the hard stuff has to be faced.
And yes amigas… healing hurts sometimes.
Yes, it’s uncomfortable.
Yes, it will trigger you.
But mamá didn’t raise a weakling.
Healing isn’t weakness. Avoiding everything is.
Here’s the difference between the support systems people often confuse:
Truthfully? Sometimes you need all three at different seasons of your life.
I see a therapist almost every quarter whenever I feel my anxiety starting to build up again. Because I know myself now. I know the signs. And I’d rather deal with things before they completely knock me on my ass.
I have three different mentors who help me with leadership, entrepreneurship, and spirituality. These are people who challenge me, guide me, and remind me that I’m capable of more than I sometimes believe.
And I also have an amazing life coach who happens to read tarot cards. Not for future readings or “you’re going to marry a rich man in Greece” nonsense. Because I already married my Poseidon. 🌊😂 But for present readings that help keep me grounded, reflective, and honest with myself about where I currently am emotionally and mentally.
And there’s no shame in that shit.
Support doesn’t make you weak.
Self-awareness doesn’t make you broken.
And asking for guidance doesn’t mean you failed.
It means you’re human.
If you’re feeling stuck and want help figuring out where to start, I offer a FREE 1:1 30-minute Clarity Call.
No pressure. No weird sales pitch. Just a real conversation to help you get clear.
Why I Became a Certified Life Coach
Siendo honesta, COVID was a turning point for me.
I was done with burnout.
Done with mujeres tearing down other mujeres.
Done with toxicas.
Done with Army life still having a chokehold on my mental health years later.
So I started writing. Yes, with an actual pen and paper. Very relic of me. Very Lady Whistledown of me… before Bridgerton came out and everybody suddenly romanticized journaling and dramatic narration. 😂
Somewhere in all that writing, I came to a realization:
I wanted to become the kind of leader I had spent my whole life craving.
The kind that helps people feel seen.
The kind that teaches instead of shames.
The kind that helps people grow instead of shrink.
So I started researching life coaching programs and eventually found the Jay Shetty Certification School. Y como dicen… the rest is history.
After an entire year of curriculum and over 500 hours of coaching, I finally became a certified life coach. And that certification mattered deeply to me because technically, it’s not required in this industry.
But if I’m being honest, it didn’t feel right in my soul to coach people without proper training.
People are trusting you with vulnerable parts of their lives. That deserves responsibility, ethics, emotional intelligence, and real education — not just an Instagram quote and a ring light.
Pero aquí sigo… writing my blog, sharing my stories, hoping to blow up like Lady Whistledown one of these días. LOL.
This Is What Coaching Is
People assume life coaches are here to magically fix every problem in your life. Or that it’s all woo woo bullshit. But none of those athletes, celebrities, or successful people got by on talent alone. They had coaches guiding them every step of the way.
We’re not. Again, I repeat — and I will continue repeating it until my face turns blue — I am NOT a therapist, amigas. 😂
I can’t heal your childhood trauma for you.
I can’t make decisions for you.
I can’t wave sage around your living room while Shakira plays in the background, and suddenly all your problems disappear. 😂
What I can do is help you slow down enough to hear yourself again.
Because most people aren’t actually “lost.”
They’re overwhelmed.
Disconnected from themselves.
Exhausted.
Overthinking.
Performing for everyone else.
Trying to survive instead of intentionally living.
A good life coach helps you identify patterns.
Challenges your blind spots.
Keeps you accountable.
Helps you reconnect to yourself.
And reminds you that you’re probably a lot more capable than you think you are.
Sometimes clarity changes people more than motivation ever will.
Reflection
Honestly? That’s what I needed all along.
Not someone to scream at me to “do better.”
Not someone to shame me into shrinking myself.
Not someone to hand me a perfectly curated five-step morning routine while pretending they’ve transcended all human suffering. 😂
I needed people who helped me understand myself better.
People who taught me how to breathe through hard moments instead of panicking.
People who reminded me I didn’t have to carry everything alone.
People who showed me that strength and support can exist in the same sentence.
And maybe that’s where you are, too.
You don’t need fixing.
You just need support, healing, perspective, clarity, and the right people in your corner.
And honestly?
That shit can change your life.
Before You Go…
→ If this resonated, read this next: Finding Purpose When Life Doesn’t Go As Planned
→ If you’re feeling stuck, overwhelmed, or disconnected from yourself lately: Fuel Your Week
→ If you want help figuring out your next step: Free 1:1 30 min. Clarity Call
And if nobody has reminded you lately:
You do not have to figure everything out alone.
Frequently Asked Questions
-
A life coach helps you gain clarity, identify patterns, set goals, and move forward intentionally. Life coaching is usually focused on your present challenges and future growth rather than diagnosing or treating mental health conditions. A good life coach helps you see yourself and your situation more clearly so you can make aligned decisions and take real action.
-
A therapist helps people process trauma, grief, anxiety, depression, emotional wounds, and mental health challenges. Therapists are licensed mental health professionals trained to diagnose and treat mental health conditions.
A life coach focuses more on mindset, accountability, clarity, personal growth, confidence, and future goals. Life coaches are not therapists and should not replace mental health care.
-
A mentor usually shares guidance based on their own life, career, or personal experience. Mentorship is often more informal and wisdom-based.
A life coach uses structured conversations, accountability, reflection, and goal-setting tools to help clients move forward intentionally. Both can be valuable depending on the season of life you’re in.
-
Absolutely. Honestly, many people benefit from different types of support systems at the same time. Therapy may help you heal and process the past, mentorship may help you navigate specific experiences, and life coaching may help you build clarity and momentum moving forward.
-
Life coaching can be incredibly valuable when you feel stuck, disconnected, overwhelmed, unmotivated, or unsure of your next step. A life coach won’t magically fix your life, but the right coach can help you recognize patterns, challenge limiting beliefs, build confidence, and take intentional action.
-
Look for someone who:
makes you feel safe and supported
respects ethical boundaries
listens well
challenges you without shaming you
helps you build clarity and confidence
has training, experience, or a coaching style that genuinely resonates with you
And honestly? Trust your gut. If someone feels more like a walking motivational poster than a grounded human being… keep looking. 😂
📌 Quick Note (Because We Keep It Real Here)
I’m not a therapist, psychologist, or doctor, and I don’t pretend to be. Everything I share is rooted in my lived experience. Please consult a licensed professional for personalized support.
If you're in crisis, call 911 or contact the 988 Lifeline. You're not alone. Real help exists, and you deserve it.
