Finding Purpose When Life Doesn’t Go as Planned
"And because I’m growing, my purpose is constantly evolving along with me."
– Cynthia Prato, Get It Together: Without Losing Your Mind
When Life Doesn’t Follow the Plan...
How often does life actually go as planned? Erm… almost never. And yet, so many of us feel like we’ve failed if our path doesn’t look perfectly mapped out or Instagram-worthy.
Here’s the thing: purpose isn’t some grand, polished, one-size-fits-all destination. It’s messy. It evolves. And most of all, it’s yours.
Not your parents’ version. Not your boss’s version. Yours.
My Purpose? Not What I Planned
If you told 18-year-old me I’d join the Army as an interrogator instead of becoming a doctor, I would’ve laughed in your face. That was not the plan. But life had other ideas. And those unexpected detours? They shaped me.
Case in point: I was rereading my own book (yes, I read my own advice sometimes: I mean, who better to coach me than me? giggle giggle 🤭) and stumbled on the section about purpose. In that chapter, I shared that I might pursue a bachelor’s in Psychology.
But after getting accepted into the VA’s Veteran Readiness & Employment (VRE) program, I had a revelation. I retook all the assessments; yes, for fun, because I genuinely enjoy them, and realized something big.
After some deep rest, reflection (and let’s be real, vacation-induced clarity), I understood that Psychology wasn’t my aligned path. Business Management is.
Not because it sounds better. Not because it’s “safer.” But it aligns better with who I am and what I want to build.
Purpose, Rewritten
📌 My previous purpose statement (Jan. 2025):
“I inspire and guide others by helping them set achievable goals, using my empathy, coaching skills, and resilience, and guided by authenticity, growth, and compassion. My ultimate goal is to help people live happier and more fulfilling lives.”
📌 My new purpose statement (Mid-Year Reset – July 2025):
“I empower women to rewrite their stories, set boundaries, and build lives rooted in self-trust, purpose, and freedom. Through coaching, writing, podcasting, and transformative content, I create safe and powerful spaces where growth is sustainable, healing is prioritized, and success is redefined. I design a business and career path that honors rest, resilience, and authenticity; proving that healing and leadership can coexist beautifully.”
Slightly changed, but still so aligned.
I didn’t abandon my purpose; I refined it to match my growth and values.
✨ Purpose Meets Imagination: A Peek Into the Future
Lately, I’ve been leaning even more into intentionality; not just for today, but for what’s next.
I’ve been attending the ASU Veteran Imagination Project, where we’re diving deep into Futures Thinking (yes, with an S, because there’s more than one possible future). We’re exploring what direction our lives can take when we give ourselves permission to dream boldly.
As part of this project, I collaborated with a digital artist to visually bring my imagined future to life. Think: vision board on steroids, and I’m honestly excited to see the final product. If you're curious and want a first look, I’ll be sharing it exclusively with my newsletter subscribers, so don’t forget to sign up.
Fun fact? Having my written purpose statement already prepared put me ahead of the class. And yes, I’m the only woman in the room, which makes it all the more powerful to show up, be heard, and shine with a vision that's uniquely mine.
I’ve also been working on my Leadership Mission Statement as I begin my journey into management at work. I even created a word cloud using responses from my colleagues, clients (past and present), and besties, where I asked for three words that best describe my leadership style.
The word that came up the most? Authentic.
That meant everything. I work hard to lead from a place of authenticity, by example, with relevance, and without pretense. To see that reflected by the people I serve and lead. It made my heart full.
Here’s the Truth About Purpose:
✔ It’s yours. Not someone else’s version of what “success” should look like.
✔ It doesn’t have to be flashy. Define success on your own terms.
✔ It doesn’t need a timeline. Set goals, sure, but stay flexible.
✔ It won’t look like anyone else’s. Stop scrolling and comparing, your path is unique for a reason.
✔ It must feel aligned. If you’re feeling the “ick,” your intuition is waving a red flag. Trust your spidey-sense.
Purpose Evolves as You Do
I thought my glow-up journey would be all about weight loss and confidence. Ha! I was so wrong, especially about the weight part. But what I found instead?
✨ Healing
✨ Boundaries
✨ Choosing myself
✨ Showing up, especially when it’s uncomfortable
Purpose shifts with every experience, every setback, every time life hands you a plot twist and says, “Try again.”
Feeling Stuck? Start Small.
Ask yourself:
✨ What lights me up right now?
✨ What feels aligned, even if it’s messy?
✨ What childhood dream or passion still whispers to me?
Purpose isn’t hiding. It’s unfolding, right where you are. Your path doesn’t have to make sense to anyone else. If it feels right for you, you’re exactly where you need to be.
Let’s Normalize the Messy Middle
Forget the highlight reels. This is your reminder that evolving, adjusting, and discovering your purpose is a process. One step, one pivot, one messy middle at a time.
You’ve got this.
Alignment over aesthetics, always.
🔗 Related Reads:
Want to dive deeper into my journey? Read about my military path to purpose and uncover the secret to finding your purpose.
💬 Your turn:
Have you ever shifted your purpose mid-year or mid-life? Drop your current purpose statement (or a messy draft of one) in the comments. Let’s evolve together.
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📌 Quick Note (Because We Keep It Real Here)
I’m not a therapist, psychologist, or doctor, and I don’t pretend to be. Everything I share is rooted in my lived experience. Please consult a licensed professional for personalized support.
If you're in crisis, call 911 or contact the 988 Lifeline. You're not alone. Real help exists, and you deserve it.
