Imposter Syndrome: Fighting the Inner "Sus"
Have you ever felt like an imposter in your own success story? My son recently introduced me to the game Among Us. If you haven’t played it, it’s about spotting the “imposter” in the crew before they sabotage everything. Let me tell you, every day I feel like that imposter—and I’m not alone.
According to the National Institute of Health (NIH), imposter syndrome is a behavioral health phenomenon characterized by persistent self-doubt about one’s intellect, skills, or accomplishments—especially among high-achieving individuals.
Now, imposter syndrome doesn’t discriminate, but for military veterans transitioning to civilian careers, it can feel like trying to decode alien technology. After 18 years as a veteran and now serving the military community, I still wrestle with this.
Imposter Syndrome in My World
Take this week, for example. I worked with several senior enlisted members and officers with Top Secret clearances, creating their resumes. I coach them, assure them that they’re going to be fantastic in the civilian world, they’re valuable, their skills learned in the military matter, etc. Sounds impressive, right? But in the middle of it all, that sneaky voice crept in: “What business do I have helping these high-ranking individuals?” It hit like a tidal wave, but then came the validation:
A Colonel referred another Colonel to me.
A client emailed, saying, “I didn’t even realize I accomplished all this—thank you!”
Yet, despite these affirmations, imposter syndrome returns, like clockwork.
How Imposter Syndrome Affects Veterans
1. Transition Challenges:
Veterans go from the highly structured world of the military to the often chaotic civilian workplace. Without the clear chain of command we’re used to, some of us find ourselves job-hopping, trying to find an environment that fits—or we unintentionally ruffle feathers by “fixing” processes that seem broken.
2. Downplaying Achievements:
Have you ever said, “I was just doing my job”? Same here. Veterans often minimize their accomplishments, brushing them off as “no big deal.” For years, I barely even acknowledged my veteran status. It wasn’t until two years ago that I started to truly embrace it.
I vividly remember a holiday lunch with coworkers when I casually mentioned, “I didn’t do anything,” after someone left a thank-you note on my car for my service. The reality is, so many veterans feel this way. We’ve been trained to focus on the mission and the team, not ourselves.
Just last week, I spent nearly an hour with a client reviewing his resume. He felt like a fraud, convinced that every impressive bullet point was simply “just doing my job.” But let’s be real—military roles are incredibly diverse. It’s not like we do the same thing every single day. The military requires adaptability. We all wear different hats, sometimes at the same time!
Case in point: I was trained as a “combat medic” and could administer an IV in a pinch, but my primary role was an interrogator. One day, I might be supporting intelligence operations, and the next, I’m lending a hand on a completely unrelated task. That’s the beauty of military service—we’re multi-skilled problem-solvers who constantly rise to the challenge.
Here’s the thing: downplaying our achievements doesn’t just sell ourselves short; it denies others the chance to understand the breadth of what we bring to the table. So, next time you feel the urge to say, “I was just doing my job,” pause and think about the bigger picture. Your service, your skills, and your experiences matter.
3. Perfectionism:
Ah, perfectionism—my lifelong nemesis. It sneaks in, dragging along its toxic sidekicks: procrastination, anxiety, and unnecessary stress. If I were playing Among Us, I’d be the first to point at myself and yell, “Imposter!” 😂
Let’s talk about that infamous phrase: “Fake it until you make it.” Just typing it out makes me cringe! It triggers me so badly because the thought of feeling like a fraud? Nope, not for me. Instead, I overcompensate. I’ll research endlessly, watch hours of tutorials, or even go as far as earning a certification or two just to feel qualified enough. Sounds productive, right? Well, not really—because this often snowballs into burnout as I pour too much energy into perfecting every detail of a single project.
The truth is, perfectionism isn’t about being perfect—it’s about the fear of not being enough. It’s a cycle that keeps us stuck, doubting our worth, and second-guessing our abilities. Learning to recognize this pattern is the first step to breaking free from it. And trust me, progress always beats perfection. 🎯
How to Minimize Imposter Syndrome
Imposter syndrome isn’t something you magically “fix,” but you can learn to manage it. Here’s how:
1. Build a Supportive Circle 👯♀️
Surround yourself with people who lift you up—your personal cheer squad! And remember, it’s a two-way street; you should be just as supportive for them. A healthy, balanced circle isn’t just about good vibes—it’s scientifically proven to work wonders for your mental well-being. Studies show that having a strong support network increases self-awareness, reduces stress and anxiety, boosts self-esteem, and helps you cope better with life’s challenges. 🙌
Your circle should motivate and encourage you, not drain your energy. If it feels one-sided, it’s time to reevaluate who’s in your corner. Want more on building a rock-solid support system? Check out this blog post.
2. Seek Therapy 🛋️
Talking to a professional can make a world of difference. Sure, a little imposter syndrome can be humbling, but if it’s holding you back or causing distress, therapy can help you reframe those thoughts and tackle the root cause. Spoiler alert: there’s probably an underlying issue that’s been feeding your imposter syndrome all along.
Skip Google (which might label you the imposter) and avoid seeking validation from social media—it’s not the therapy you think it is. Instead, connect with someone who’s trained to guide you through your journey. Many employers even offer free sessions through Employee Assistance Programs (EAPs), so take advantage of those resources!
Therapy isn’t a sign of weakness—it’s a step toward personal growth and becoming the best version of yourself. And let’s be real, we could all use that boost. 🌟
3. Practice Self-Awareness 🧠
Recognize when imposter syndrome is creeping in. Awareness is the first step to managing those feelings.
4. Write Down Your Accomplishments 📝
Start a “Wins Journal.” Keep track of your achievements, big and small. Did a client sing your praises? Copy that email into your journal. Finished a tough project? Write it down. Reviewing these notes regularly can remind you of your awesomeness and serve as a resource for performance reviews.
5. Celebrate Progress, Not Perfection 🎉
Imposter syndrome loves to feed off perfectionism. Shift your focus to progress instead. Celebrate the effort and growth, not just the result.
Moving Forward Together
Imposter syndrome might always be a sneaky little crewmate, but it doesn’t have to sabotage your journey. By recognizing its presence and using strategies like building a supportive circle, seeking therapy, and practicing self-awareness, you can quiet that inner imposter voice.
Your Turn!
How do you tackle imposter syndrome in your life? Share your tips in the comments—I’d love to hear from you. And if you know someone who needs this message, send it their way. Together, we can help each other step into our full potential. 💪
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Disclaimer:
I am not a doctor, psychologist, or licensed therapist. Everything I share is based on my personal experiences and should not be considered professional advice. For personalized guidance, always consult a licensed medical or mental health professional—yes, a real one, not "Dr. Google" or the comment section of social media.
If you're in crisis, please call 911 or contact the 988 Lifeline for immediate support. You're not alone, and real help is available.
