š Why Boundaries Became My Lifeline: A World Mental Health Day Reflection
Itās Tuesday, Oct. 7, my favorite day of the week, AND I practice specifically for this day every year ā NATIONAL TACO DAYš®! And honestly? My mental health has been tested lately. I think weāre all going through something. Politically, globally, sociallyāthe world feels heavy. My heart aches for everyone affected.
Iāve even stopped reading headlines because my mental health was suffering. My therapist reminded me: fear and intimidation is what ātheyā want. And this chingona? I refuse to hand them that. š
Iāve even made it my business to speak more EspaƱol in publicāwith a smileājust to keep joy front and center.
š The Hardest Boundary Iāve Ever Set
I had to draw the hardest line yet, with my family. For my mental health, peace, and well-being.
It was brutal. My family thinks itās ājust me.ā That Iām the one who needs to accommodate, because āthatās just how so-and-so is.ā
Erm⦠hard pass. No mÔs.
I wonāt shrink myself to make anyone comfortable. Unrespectfully š.
𩺠The Weekend That Tested Everything
On Friday, Oct. 3, I went in for what was supposed to be a routine colonoscopy. By Sunday, I was back to eating, cleaning the house, finally hanging up family photos (almost a year into our āforeverā home). It was pure joy.
Then my body flipped into drama queen mode. Blood clots. A lot of blood. At first, I told myself it was normal. After several bathroom visits, I didnāt feel right. I drove myself to the hospital (yes, Paul wanted to take me, but I didnāt want to stress him or Aiden).
I packed my laptop, chargers, thinking, āIāll be home by Sunday Night Football.ā Spoiler: I wasnāt.
I was losing blood, my blood pressure dropping. The doctor said they needed to admit me and wait for GI to take a look. My nurse, Steve, stared at me like I was an alien because I stayed calm.
I told him,
āIāve been working on this mindset for years. Can I control this? No. So Iām not going to spiral.ā
My support group was strong. Paul held it down at home. My bestie was on speed dial and ready to stay with me. We even joked about it (blaming the Cardinals game LOL). Because for me, laughter is medicine.
I didnāt want to tell my parents because I knew my madre would go into full panic mode and broadcast it to my uncle (the doctor in Miami) and everyone else. My phone blew up. But I stayed in my calm bubble.
š Gratitude in the Chaos
GI patched me up the next day. The internal medicine doc literally said, āYouāll live another day.ā
Two minutes later the hospital chaplain walked in, and thatās when I almost lost it. (I waited until I got home to cry - and cry I did for 2 days.)
That night, lying in the hospital bed, I kept thinking about the headline: āWoman goes in for routine colonoscopy and dies two days laterā¦ā I really need to stop watching Crime TV š.
But today, Taco Tuesday, Iām here. Writing this. Grateful to see my son, my husband, my furry beasts (even the one who crop-dusted me all night).
And yes, that same furry beast was also recently diagnosed with cancer. We found out in the middle of all this chaos. Thereās not much we can do now except love him fiercely and spoil him rotten, and thatās exactly what weāre doing. He deserves the best doggy life, and weāre going to make sure he knows just how loved he is.
Grateful for the VA emergency staff, all my doctors (I think I saw six), the GI team, and my nurses Steve, Mike, and Olivia.
And I already put in a call to my therapist this week. This was traumatic, and Iām not going to white-knuckle it. Healing takes talking.
š§” A Note for You on World Mental Health Day
If youāre reading this, please remember:
Boundaries protect your peace.
You donāt have to apologize for protecting your mental health.
Therapy, support systems, and self-care arenāt luxuries. Theyāre necessities.
If your body, your gut, your espiritu are whispering āno,ā listen.
Itās not weakness. Itās wisdom.
š Resources for You
Iāve gathered some mental health + veteran resources here.
If youāre in crisis, please call 911 or contact the 988 Lifeline. Youāre not alone. Real help is available.
Entre Tias y Amiguis Podcast - Generational Healing in Comunidad
First Page - click here
Canvas of Courage - Art Therapy in Phoenix, Arizona
The Vet Center - West Valley - AZ or Phoenix Vet Center or Vet Centers
Mental Health America - click here
Apricus Coaching - click here
VA Mental Health Services - click here
JMach Podcast - Connecting Veterans Through Conversation
The Aya Mission - Veterans Exploring Entheogenic Ceremonies
š Quick Note (Because We Keep It Real Here)
Iām not a therapist, psychologist, or doctor ā and I donāt pretend to be. Everything I share is rooted in my lived experience. Please consult a licensed professional for personalized support.
If you're in crisis, call 911 or contact the 988 Lifeline. You're not alone. Real help exists, and you deserve it.